Never a Good Girl
by DeadToBeginWith
Summary: Tori was never a good girl, so when she is diagnosed with a life-threatening illness, will she start trying to be one, or keep on as she is?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello all. This is my first Grey's Anatomy fanfiction, and I hope you all like it, but first there is some warnings that come along with it. First, note that it's set in kind of early season 6, before the merger. Another important, probably the most important, thing is that in my fic, all pairings are the same except that Meredith and Derek are not together. The reason for this will become apparent later. And I should point out that it is set around an OC. Another thing is the whole age-gap romance, if that offends you I advise you to leave now. Ok then, that's it for now, on with the story!**

**xxxxx**

Tori didn't know where she was as she woke up. She could hear sounds, lots of them. Machines bleeping. Voices; lots of unfamiliar voices saying words she couldn't quite hear. There was one sound she recognized though. Her dad was there, talking to the other voices, telling them something. His Irish accent stood out in the mess of American ones. It came as a relief in the confusion, an incentive for Tori to try and wake up. She heard another voice, a man's voice. It was clearer than the other sounds, closer to her.

"Tori, can you hear me?" the voice asked. She tried to open her eyes, but the sudden, blinding torchlight made her recoil.

"She's waking up," the voice said. Tori heard her dad's sigh of relief. She tried again to open her eyes, and, finding the torch to be pointed away from her now, saw the owner of the voice for the first time. The man leaning over her was dressed in light blue scrubs, a white lab coat, and had a stethescope around his neck, so Tori took him to be a doctor. He had short brown hair and brown eyes. While she was trying to figure out why there was a doctor there, the pain in her side registered, and she became aware that she was bleeding. Why was she bleeding?

As Tori tried to sit up, she felt another dart of pain in her chest. Looking around, she noticed that the room she was in seemed to be a hospital ward, which would certainly explain the doctor, along with the several other doctors and nurses she could see scattered around the large room. Looking at her dad, she asked "What happened?"

It was the doctor, who was now writing something down, that answered. "You don't remember?" He looked a slight bit concerned.

Tori tried to think back. Her and her dad had been going somewhere, but they had been late. She remembered rushing back up to their apartment, she'd forgotten her phone. She had run back out, and had been attempting to lock the door when her dad had yelled to hurry up. She'd turned to run down the stairs, the lifts weren't working. The stairs of the apartment building were concrete, with windows at every floor. One of the windows a floor or two down had been smashed a few days ago. She had started down the stairs, but that was as far as she could remember.

"I remember being upstairs, then dad calling me, then nothing." She sighed as she realised what had happened. "Bugger. I fell down the bloody stairs didn't I?"

"Well, seen as your father found you unconscious and bleeding at the bottom, we could assume that's what happened," the doctor sighed. "You have some pieces of glass in your abdomen, so we're going to remove them and stitch you up. You don't seem to have a concussion but it'd be best to do a head CT, just to be sure, and a chest x-ray, you might have some broken ribs."

"Ok," she said, not really knowing what else there was to say. Her dad moved over beside her. "You are a clumsy eejit child, did you know that?" he sounded relieved. "I was worried about you."

"Ah Da, I'm grand. Just a cut. And some glass. And a broken bone or two," she joked. "Guess we never made it to that show then?"

He pretended to smack her. "I mean it chick, you need to be more careful." Tori rolled her eyes at his use of her old nickname.

"So does this sort of thing happen to you a lot?" Dr. Karev asked.

"I fall a bit, nothing serious, just bumps and bruises," she told him. "I'm a bit clumsy."

"So I see. Now stay still, this will hurt a bit." Tori gritted her teeth as she felt him pull out the first shard of glass.

"Bleedin' Hell doc, can you not just leave it in there?" she joked, wincing.

"Sure, and give you some lovely complications to deal with. Now quiet, I want to get this over with."

An hour later, Tori was stitched up and waiting to hear from the doctor about that CT scan he had mentioned earlier. She looked around what her dad had told her earlier was the ER, or as it was called back home the A&E. It was a busy place, there were doctors and nurses everywhere, attending to patients, checking charts, writing things down. Her dad had also told her that this hospital was called Seattle Grace, and was in the middle of the Washington city that they had moved to a little over eleven months ago for her father's job. Tori had grown up in Dublin, Ireland, and was taking a gap year before starting college. At seventeen, she had been young finishing her Leaving Certificate Examination, so she had decided to move with her dad for his year long job in Seattle, instead of staying at home with her mother.

Dr. Karev came over, looking slightly distracted and very busy. "I'm sorry Tori, CT's backed up and it could be a couple of hours before you get down there." He smiled at her and left to answer a page. Tori sighed, and resigned herself to the fact that this would be a long day.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Wow, This chapter didn't take long at all considering the first took a few weeks. Anyway, here is where my medical knowledge might be a bit shaky, but I'm trying my best to keep it as factual as possible. Oh, and I forgot to put a disclaimer on my first chapter so here goes: I own nothing but the plot and Tori (And her family). I don't own Grey's Anatomy (much as I'd love to) or it's characters. **

**xxxx**

Alex Karev was a busy doctor. He had patients everywhere needing scans, post-op examinations, medication and god only knows what else. He had patients needing all kinds of unusual and complicated surgeries. Transplants, nerve grafts, tumor removals. You name it. So a kid that fell down the stairs would be simple. Easy even. Well, that's what he'd thought. But now, with the CT scan results in front of him, he wasn't so sure. It was impossible. Completely impossible. There was no way that this could be that same kid's scan. No way.

"Something wrong Alex?" He turned to find his good friend and fellow resident Meredith Grey behind him. Alex didn't like to admit it, but Meredith had always been one of his best friends.

"Yeah," he told her. "Look at this."

She looked over his shoulder at the scan. "Looks clear to me. What's the problem?"

He sighed. "This kid fell down two flights of stairs and broke three ribs, knocked herself clean unconscious for about and hour. And the CT is clear. No skull fracture, no brain damage, not even a concussion."

Meredith stared at him. "No concussion? Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"Wow. That's weird. Real weird."

"I know right? The only other thing that could have happened is if she was already unconscious when she fell."

"A blackout? You mean she could have a tumor?"

"Thats what I thought, but the CT is clear." Alex sighed again. "I just don't know."

Tori was bored. Sore and bored. It was six in the evening and her dad had left an hour ago to get to work, after Dr. Karev had told them that Tori would be spending the night in the hospital so they could run more tests. She had been moved to a room on a regular ward, away from the chaos of the ER. It was quieter here, but the room had a window that looked out at the corridor, so she could still see people moving around the hospital. It struck her as the type of place to always be busy, no matter what time of day it was. It was a huge building too, she'd seen a floor map over by the elevators, and it was at least three times the size of the hospital near her home in Dublin. Tori had been in that place a few times over the years, once when she'd broken her wrist after falling out of a tree, another time with a sprained ankle from a skateboarding accident. Never had she needed to stay the night before though, so this was a new experience.

It was sitting in the room, looking out of that window that she first saw him. He was tall, about 5' 10", dressed in the dark blue scrubs that, she had earlier discovered, indicated that he was an Attending Surgeon. His hair was such a dark brown it was almost black, and even from this distance Tori could tell that his eyes were a clear blue. She didn't know what, but there was something about him that really captured her attention. Her first thought was _wow. He's cute for a doctor._

Tori turned to find her rucksack with her sketchbook in it. She had two, one she kept hidden under her matress, and the other was always on her. She didn't want to risk hiding it, in case someone found it. This one was the one with all her secret drawings, every one was connected with a feeling or emotion. And they were good. Tori wanted to go to art college when she returned home, because drawing was the only thing she really had a passion for.

About an hour later, another doctor who introduced herself as Dr. Grey came in to her room. Tori didn't pay her much attention as the Attending from before that she was still finishing drawing was back, outside her window. She didn't look up until Dr. Grey asked: "What are you drawing?"

Tori pointed at the doctor. "Him."

Following her gesture, Dr. Grey smiled. "That's Dr. Shepherd, he's our head of Neurosurgery."

Tori nodded. "Dr. Shepherd. He's cute."

Dr. Grey smiled again. "Yeah, we call him 'Dr. McDreamy."

_Dr. McDreamy, _Tori thought. _Now isn't that fitting?_


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Well, this one is coming along much faster than expected. Just a note, an 'eejit' is an Irish word, means an idiot, basically. You'll be seeing that a lot, as it's quite a common phrase. Other than that, not much else to say, except that I love getting reviews, so drop us a line, let me know what you think.**

**xxxxxx**

When Tori woke up the next morning in the hospital, her dad was back. He looked exhausted, having just worked the night in the factory where he made cable for the American branch of his company. She went to sit up the bed, but felt a stabbing pain in the left side of her head, and let out an involuntary gasp.

"Tori!" her dad jumped up. "Are you all right? What's wrong?"

Tori stayed very still and tried to focus on somethig else long enough to answer. "I'm ok, Da. Headache," she muttered, still wincing.

"Ok chick, stay there, I'll call a doctor," he told her.

"Da, it's alright," she protested, but he was already gone.

A few minutes later, Tori was still curled in a ball with her head in her hands when her dad returned with Dr. Grey. "Tori, your father says you've a headache?"

"Yeah," said Tori without moving.

"Ok, and are you familiar with the pain scale?" Dr. Grey asked.

"Eight." Tori answered.

"Eight? Ok, that's not good. I'm going to give you some pain meds intravenously, which should help, and then I'll page Dr. Karev."

The pain meds worked quickly, and Tori was able to move again. As she sat up, Dr. Karev walked in. "Tori, I'm told you've been having some trouble with headaches today, is that right?"

"Yeah," she answered. "It's no big deal, happens a lot."

"How much is a lot?" Dr. Karev asked.

"Um, 'bout once every two days, but not always as bad," she told him. "Why, is it important?"

"It could be, but so could anything at this point. We'll get you down for an MRI soon. Hows the ribs today?"

"All right, can't feel them now, what with the painkillers." Tori smiled at him. "I'm all right doc, amn't I?"

He sighed. "I can't promise anything, but we'll do our best to figure out what's going on in that head of yours," He turned to her dad. "Now, Mr. O'Conner, I suggest you go home for a while, get some sleep. I'll call as soon as we know anything."

Her dad looked at her. "That ok with you if I go chick?"

"'Course Da, go on, you're no use that tired."

He kissed her forehead, and got up to leave. "I'll see you later. Oh, and I'll ring your mam."

"Ok Da, see you later."

"So your mother's not around then?" Dr. Karev asked.

"Nope. She's back at home, with my brother. He has Cerebral Palsy, so she's a full time carer."

"CP? That's rough. What kind?"

"Spastic Diplegia. He's only twelve. Can't walk, but can talk all right. He's a clever fella, my Zak." She smiled. "I miss him."

"I'd say you do. Sounds like you're close to him," Dr. Karev commented.

"Yeah. He's like, my best friend."

Dr. Karev smiled. His pager made a bleeping noise, and he picked it up. "I have to go," he told her. "I'll be back in about an hour to bring you up for that MRI."

"Ok. See you doc."

MRI machines were interesting things, Tori thought as she stared up at the big white contraption. It took some sort of picture of her brain using some kind of technology she really didn't understand, no matter how many times Dr. Karev had tried to explain it. She'd never had a head for all that scientific stuff. Sure, she learned it all off for tests and stuff, but never really understood it. Her dad had said once that she wasn't and academic. Her strengths lay in her art, and also in music. She wasn't the best singer, but she was a good piano player. Tori loved music, and had learned piano when she was quite young.

Briefly, she wondered about this whole hospital thing. Having a disabled brother meant that she was no stranger to hospitals, and her clumsiness added to that as well. But the doctor seemed to think that it was something more than just a fall. That scared her a bit, but she knew by now how to put on a brave face. Like any good Irishman, Tori knew how to make the best of everything with humor, and to keep smiling. Sighing, she pushed all those scary thoughts to the back of her mind and tried to relax.

Alex Karev was really getting irritated now. A patient who had only yesterday been so simple was now turning out to be very complicated. These MRI results weren't showing anything unusual at all. But wait, there was something there. Alex looked more closely at the scan. No way, it couldn't be. That was impossible! But it was.

He turned, and not speaking to anyone in particular, yelled "Page Shepherd!"


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: This chapter is short, but important. Not much else to be said about it really, except I'm shocked at how quickly these chapters are coming along. **

**xxxx**

There was very little that could shock a doctor like Derek Shepherd. He was one of the top neurosurgeons in the country, and people came from all over America with weird and wonderful conditions to see him. But this, this shocked him. What he had here was a case that was impossible. Or almost impossible, he supposed. But if he didn't have the proof in front of him, he wouldn't believe it. Even with the proof he was having a hard time getting his head around it.

"How old did you say this patient was, Karev?" he asked Alex, who was standing quietly behind him, waiting to hear what he had to say.

"Seventeen. There's no way that can be what it looks like, is there?" Alex asked.

Derek sighed and looked at the picture in front of him again. There, sitting on the aural nerve that ran from the ear to the brain, was a tumor. A big one.

"An acoustic neuroma. Hardly ever seen in patients under the age of thirty, so one this big in a patient so young is unheard of. Completely unheard of."

"It fits though," Alex told him. "It fits her symptons. The dizziness that would have led to a fall, the headaches upon waking. I just didn't think to check for it because she's just a kid."

"Don't worry about it, most doctors wouldn't have. It's a rare condition anyway. You were right to do an MRI, a CT wont pick something like this up. How's the kid's hearing?"

"I don't know, if there's anything wrong with it she didn't say anything."

Derek looked more closely. "We'll have to operate, and soon. It's starting to compress the brain, which is not good. I'm going to go talk with the father."

"What are you drawing?"

Tori didn't look up when the unfamiliar voice asked that question. "Just a doctor I saw. He seemed interesting, so I drew him. I think his name's Dr. Shepherd." She looked up, straight into the blue eyes of the hospital's Head of Neurosurgery. "Oh bugger. Hi Dr. Shepherd. Um... This is a tad awkward."

Derek laughed. "Nice to meet you Tori. As you seem to know, I'm Dr. Shepherd, Head of Neuro."

"Yeah, I know. I'd say nice to meet you, but I suspect the situation that necessitates having a neurosurgeon here might just make that not true," she told him.

He nodded. "I'm afraid I have some bad news. I already spoke with your father, who told me to go ahead and tell you. You appear to have what's known as an accoustic neuroma. It's a type of tumor on you aural nerve, that's the nerve that connects your ear with your brain. It's very rare in someone your age, and it's also very large. It's compressing your brain."

"You mean it could kill me?" Tori asked, shocked by what this doctor was telling her.

"Yes," he answered. "We can prevent that by operating, and removing the tumor, but the surgery is risky."

"Ok, hang on a minute," Tori said. "You're telling me I've a tumor?"

"Yes."

"And it's causing all the headaches and falling and stuff."

"Yes."

"And it could kill me?"

"Most likely."

"But you can take it out?"

"Yes."

"Ok. What are these risks then?" Tori sighed.

"Well," Derek began. "Firstly, as with any major surgery, something could go wrong. But with this, you're very likely to loose your hearing in your left ear."

Seeing her shellshocked expression, he stopped. "Tori, I know it's a lot to take in. I'm working tonight, so if you have anything you need to talk about once you've had a chance to think about all this, I'll be here."

Tori looked up at him. "Thanks doc."

He smiled a bit sadly at her and left her to her rather surprised thoughts.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Rather short chapter here, and probably long overdue, but my other fic was demanding attention so this one got put on hold for the week. Anyway, back now, and hopefully it wont be as long until the next chapter.**

**xxxx**

Derek sighed as he leaned against the door frame. There was something really not right about this girl's tumor, he thought as he watched her. She was a small little thing, he noticed, only about 5 foot two, and her figure implied that she was active, lean and rather muscular. Her hair, which was short with a long fringe that now brushed the sketchpad she was drawing in was a reddish-brown colour, and her eyes were the same shade of green as the trees in summer. She had a nice smile too, he had noticed that earlier. Somehow Derek got the impression that she was someone who smiled a lot.

It was quiet up in the Peds ward now, all the 'tiny humans', as Dr. Robbins called them, were asleep at two in the morning. But not Tori. She was working intently on whatever drawing she held, not noticing him standing there. He shook his head as he watched her, barely more than a child. She seemed small and vunerable, and she was so far from home. This was a risky surgery she was having; one small slip and he could kill her. Even if it went well, she would still lose half her hearing. There was no way he could remove the tumor without cutting the aural nerve. There'd be a long recovery time too.

"You should be asleep," Derek said, alerting Tori to his presence.

She looked up, startled. "Oh, hiya doc," she smiled at him, turning back to her sketchbook.

"What're you drawing now?" he asked, coming over to sit in the chair next to her bed. She turned the pad around to show him. It was a drawing of a beach, done in simple pencil yet somehow he could imagine the colour of the sky and the waves as they lapped the rocky shore. It was deserted, and seemed calm and peaceful. Tori was an amazing artist, he realised. Just from a sketch he could visualise the place as though he was there himself.

"It's Carne, a beach back home," she told him quietly. "Used to camp there in the summer when I was a kid, with one of my friends. I loved it there."

"It's an amazing drawing," he told her. "You've got quite a talent there."

She smiled at him. "Thanks. I'm hoping to go to art college in September."

A thought occured to Derek. "Can I ask you something?" he questioned.

"Sure," Tori replied.

"Why do you always seem to be in a good mood? I mean, most people would be upset by the news you've had, but you don't seem to be."

Tori seemed slightly surprised as she considered the question. "Well," she began, "I was always brought up to believe that even when you've something big to be sad about or whatever, try and find something else to smile about. For example, I have a tumor, which would be something to be sad about. But right at this moment in time, I can smile because you thought my drawing was good. See?"

"That's an extraordinary way of looking at the world," he told her honestly.

She grinned. "Why thank you."

"So does this mean you've finished your other drawing?" he asked, changing the subject.

Tori flushed. "Um... Yeah. About that, see I was looking for something to draw, and you have to admit, you're quite cute, for a doctor."

Derek smiled, shaking his head as he stood up. "Get some sleep," he told her. "I'll call in before your surgery later."

"Ok. Night doc," she said.

"Goodnight Tori."


End file.
